April 8

Sometimes things are bad.  Sometimes things are frustrating.  Sometimes you can’t understand why.  Sometimes you work hard on things that you want to do well on and your hard work is completely overlooked and you don’t do well and you feel like a miserable failure.  Sometimes you forget that things are not as bad as they seem.

As a future teacher, I want to do my best in school so I can be the best teacher I can be.  I know that some people have different opinions on what college is for, but I am here to learn.  And when I’ve worked hard, kicked my butt, and done the very best I could do, and almost fail, I can’t deal.  Let me be cliche for a second:  I can’t even.  Because I can’t.

Let me get one thing straight — I am not a failure.  One bad grade will not cost me a scholarship, won’t lose my place in my cohort, won’t make me any less effective of an educator.

Praise God for His unending love!  Praise Him who brings my life out of the pit, who gives my life a purpose!  When I fall, I am lifted up in His arms.  Verse 8 says, “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love,” and without a doubt, though it is so easy to get caught up in school, in relationships, and life in general and all the negative things attached to it.  Sometimes life is a storm, and all it takes is Jesus saying, “Peace, be still” to calm the wind and waves.  And we can’t help but hear Him say, probably somewhat disappointed, “Do you still have no faith?”  (That’s from Mark 4, by the way.)  Let’s have faith in our Savior, who has conquered death and risen from the grave.  Let’s rejoice in our freedom that God bought at so dear a price.  We can stop being miserable for not being perfect and instead be encouraged that we were worth the perfect sacrifice to the King of kings.

The moment we turn our eyes from God is when we lose sight of Him; that sounds obvious, but we so often forget it in the moment.  Today my prayer is one to be encouraged to continually seek the Lord’s presence in my life, no matter what goes wrong, right, or when nothing is happening at all.

3 years from today…

Honestly, God has blessed me with so much.  His plans for me have been so much more than I ever could have expected.  I’ve been in Beijing for 4 months now, and I’m being amazed daily how sovereign my God is!  I never saw myself as an elementary school teacher in the US, but especially not in China.  God’s plans really do trump ours!  I can’t believe I graduated in May.  And I still get butterflies thinking about the day he asked be to marry him!!  What Auburn woman doesn’t want to share that special moment with the rest of Jordan-Hare?  I can’t wait to be married to my soulmate, the one God chose for me.  Some people think, “Oh, she just wants to get married,” and to them it’s a bad thing, but I can’t wait to serve my husband.  Not in the slavery-way, but in a way that magnifies God’s glory.  I’m thankful for such a God-fearing fiance.  We have both been praying that he gets an opportunity to come to China and serve here as well.

As TIgger would say, TTFN!